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Im a mother. A mother to two beautiful twin boys. My boys are my world. Unfortunately one of them is very sick. Battling with seizures, Neurofibromatosis 1 (NF1) and many other issues including Autism. But his drive to learn, his drive to assert his presence is what pushes me to find a cure. A cure for the incureable. Here I am, Playing God. Playing God to him, to my Tuti, to his brother, and most of all to our family. Im just a mother, a mother who is playing God to my Tuti. My Tuti Fruiti

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

My Incredible Hulk...

The dreaded MRI is tomorrow. I'm nervous. Very nervous. I hate seeing him sedated. I hate having him straddled to be sedated. I hate watching him look right into my eyes, screaming. Screaming silently with pain. His eyes are begging me, pleading with me, to stop them. I hate everything about tomorrow and I'm not even at tomorrow yet.

A boy with no voice. No voice to let me know what's going on inside his mind. What he wants. What he needs. A boy with no voice. But he is trying so hard. A boy with no voice yet his eyes says so much. A boy with no voice, but his cuddles are a million times no a gazillion times worth more than the words I love you. A boy with no voice.

I just want this MRI over and done with. I know that we have to embark on the same journey over and over and over. I know that we are doing this for his own good. I know. I know but I still hate it. I still hate to see him suffer. Suffer even if its just for a few hours. My little boy. My little baby boy. But I know, he will be my hulk. Yes. Just like last time. My Incredible Hulk...


  1. Replies
    1. Hi madtom thank you for the article. I have read so much about that and I have found that indeed many of the children who were supposedly "cured" had to go through a process called chelation to remove those toxins. And from what parents say the results have been phenomenal. But I'm not so sure that is the case with Tuti since his autism is an after effect of the seizures.

  2. Just wondering out of my head...is there a test for this stuff? has Tuti ever had the test? And I was just thinking that he's a twin? right? and how one twin might take all the toxins and keep the other safe...And If Tuti did test positive for some toxin, is there a remedy, any way to really clear out the toxins, and how safe would that be?... just thinking out loud.

  3. I guess you already did answer one of my questions Chelation therapy I looked it up and just posted it here just in case anyone reading might be interested..

  4. I dont understand ...
    Where are you?
    Hope everything is all right!


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